sorry if this is hard to hear

I'm sobbing right now and guess what? It's your fault.

Some wonder why I haven't blogged or why I haven't read blogs recently. It's just too hard. I might be a wimp, but when you live far away from the ones you love the hurt is easier to deal with by not reminding yourself that you are far away. (a coping skill I learned on my mission, because you see on your mission you have very limited contact with loved ones back home)

It's easier to not look at pictures or read stories especially when I'm having a hard day. It's like my very psyche is trying to block out any memories at all of you so it doesn't have to cope with the truth.

I am saying I don't think of you not because I don't love you but because I can't. In fact it is because I love you that I can't.

And yes, I know it's backwards and very anti-family bonding... but it makes the really crappy days go by faster to not know all the fun, hugs, and laughs I'm missing out on.

So today, I thought, wow, I actually have a second to read some blogs and now I'm sobbing like a baby because of distance; I'm sobbing because everyone seems so happy and all the kids are so cute; I'm sobbing because I miss you and it's your fault. :)

Therefore, because I know I'm being ridiculous I must apologize for lame, weak efforts to update you about my life or to stay connected with you. Maybe if I were more consistent about staying connected the distance wouldn't seem so great but I fear that it would seem greater and it is already almost too much to bear most days.

[ I also need to add that I do not blog because in many ways my life is CONSUMED by work. Work = contract. Work = minors. Minors = privacy policy. Therefore about 80% of my day I am not legally able to tell you about. Which sucks. But it is there for a good purpose, because I see a lot of crazy stuff happening and sometimes only have very negative things to think about the whole situation, so it's better kept quiet so I can maintain my professional credibility. So I am finding it difficult to share my life when there is so much of it I can't share. ]

In an effort to now find a little joy and share it (as that it what we should always do with joy), here some recent pictures of us and the huge city we, even if awkwardly, call home.

I love you and I miss you.

May 27th to July 15th. (I'll never get that month and a half-ish back.

To say that a lot has happened since my last post would be both the epitome of truth and a baldfaced lie. (not sure how this works, but it does)

I'm done with summer training... POR FIN! And Jon and I are "semi-officially" moved in.

"Officially" because we are all our crap is in the same place. =apartment.

"Semi" because our crap is all over the place! =mess.

I would not venture to bore you with details about my summer training. I will write as detail-less as possible. It was hard. I was stressed out and busy and tired from 5am to 1am. Sleep happened sometimes in between those hours. I co-taught the "zoo", so named for a good reason. That' s it.

Jon appeared with Taylor practically 2 days early and that left me both psyched and stunned trying to figure out how they got to Houston so fast.

We had a fun time with "Tayman" (he slept on our sofa-sack). We played poker, went to the beach and the guys had plenty (but I'm sure, not enough) of Jack in the Box.

I have only finished putting together the kitchen. Hence, we are still missing pictures of the rest of our apartment. When I finish this post I am headed to the bedroom to either nap or clean it up. I think I'll flip a coin to decide.

This is my last week off for basically the next two years, so I am trying to use it wisely.

Ya saben.... Aqui estan las fotos-->

Projects; tricky math, beautiful results.

So carpentry is hard. And projects only "sound" easy because you haven't started yet.

That's what we learned this last week and a half as we built a headboard. I got this killer idea from HGTV and wanted to turn a piece of artwork from one of their shows into a headboard for Jon and I.

Headboards from the store are expensive and we have been saving for some time, so I figured I would make one, EASY! Not so easy, but luckily I have Jon (aka Math Robot).

We finally got all the supplies and started putting it together two Saturdays ago. It was a long process, but acutally not too complicated (Thanks to Dad and Steve for tools, advice, supplies, expertise).

Now for the reveal!

Don't mind the empty space (at the bottom) it's covered by our bed. Yes, we did have to hand glue, pin nail, and place every single wood shim. That took the largest amount of time.

Staining was quick, just a little tricky cause there are lots of angles and corners!

The last step was a polyurethane sealer so it's kinda semi-glossed.

Pretty sweet don't ya think?!

And it cost half the price (plus labor =free - our time.)

I'm so excited to put it up in our new place!

Say "YAY" if you want a good deal!

So my sister, LeShel, is something of a bargain hunter. She's quite the expert actually and while I was visiting her in February she let me in on a few secrets of the "good deal finder."

Well, (just some background) I have been given the task of finding a whole new wardrobe for work this summer and challenged to do so for less than $500. Yesterday I was running errands and stumbled across a huge clearance sale at Ross in Ft. Union.

WOW!

Because Ross is already a reasonably-priced place, finding half the store on clearance and the other half loaded (just that day) with new items was inspiring.

I took to the racks like a vulture feeding on wayside kill. I put all LeShel's tips to good use and I found all this stuff (7 tops, 1 pair pants, 2 skirts) for under $100.

I have so much more stuff than I even thought I might have when I got to the end of my budget and I still have various $100s to spare! It's spectacular! I may even go looking again today and for those of you that know me, I'm rarely inspired to shop. I detest shopping! But I could really get into this bargain thing.

Thanks LeShel! And just as she would here are some of the articles I found yesterday with prices:

Top - Bottom, Left - Right

springy green shirt: $7 (retail $32), red sweater combo: $6.50 (retail $28), hippie looking thing on the top-right: $10 (retail $32), super-cute black: $11 (retail $28), amazing flower skirt: $12 (retail $36), blue workpants: $10 (retail $42), red asian-inspired: $8 (retail $28), and black asian-inspired: $7 (retail $36).

I also got a plain black skirt for $9 and another top.

UPDATE: In related news: I purchased a black suit coat retail priced at $110 for $35! YAY!

Wednesday, non -wordless.

I have recently stumbled upon some hilarious blogs and vidoes that I deem worthy of sharing.

Just to brighten your day.

<

and this one... it helps with the video.

ooh, don't forget: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ especially this story and watch the video too!

this one is for meditation --> http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

this is classic! http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

and inspiring... http://dirtycarart.com/index.html

educational: http://www.detentionslip.org/

and i'm not against the vietnamease, this one is simply for anyone whose been to a nail salon.





Have a great Wednesday!

and no, I will never, ever call it "hump" day.
fools.

Take a picture... It'll last longer.

Back by popular demand to post some pictures. Hopes this helps, LeShel!

Where to Begin.

bears, beets, battlestar galatica.
-jim, the office.

So I mentioned before on my "too funny" post, there is much to write; so much so, that I don't even know where to begin. I debated on whether I should try to make it all sound extremely exciting by giving you a detailed description of everything Jon and I have been up to since, well, March 1st. But this would take up... a whole page or something.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-george carlin

Instead, I decided to make a list. Many of you may be on my list. (hehe) What more can I say? Here it is.


I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there? -vince lombardi



-beginning of March, taxes are done. actually getting a refund.

-visited with grandpa cecil and grandpa darrel. these two men are so amazing, everytime I am in their presence I feel the spirit so strongly and I am in awe of what great and humble men they are.

-completed huge work kit for next year's team. glad it's done.

-had dinner with grandma and grandpa galbraith. good rolls, way good. lots of laughs.

-printer gets sick. needs new cartridges.

-lunch with sarah. she's pregnant! going to be such a great mom. love her and will miss our lunches. (not because she's going to be a mom and mom's don't eat lunches, but because of moving to houston)

-Had my 24th birthday. I got cookies and cream ice cream with a candle in it, which we had to buy a lighter for at a gas station on our way to a parking lot. yay. Okay I should mention that before that Jon took me to a great Thai restaurant downtown and we got to shopping; I got a super sweet oversized beanie! No more bad hair days.

-we buy a car, wait this happened before my birthday. ... I love it! traded in "Toad." (the taurus) and got a saab. "upgrade" is an understatement. it's beautiful.

-the otteson's give their homecoming address in kamas. so good to see them. I will never forget what great impact they had in my mission.

-Draper temple dedication, memorable. I love the prophet.

-Jon gets accepted to University of Houston, Business Administration program. YAY!

-lunch with Krista. what a great friend. I feel peace to know that her mom is doing better and great admiration for hers and krista's strength and faith.

-Cami has a bridal shower. lingerie everywhere... really. so excited she's getting married.

-I business trip to Logan. Weather is awful. I don't miss sardine canyon. I do miss Ligget.

-I get sick. again.

-fly to houston

-big interview. even bigger test.

-meet Jovanda, Alex, Karen, and Amanda. Laugh harder than I have in 17 years.

-fly home from houston. still sick.

-color hair. feel like a rockstar.

-russell comes to town! blessed fun with mission companions and good friends. Diana is my new Canadian buddy.

-Cami gets married! What a beautiful day. I couldn't be more excited for her and Derrick. YAY!!

-saw Ricky "Hackett" :) in concert. I love the comedy and it was a fun night out with my hubby.

-started stressing about my new job and moving.

-frantically trying to get a load of crap done before May.

-oh yeah, still sick. (i think)

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life...
-tagline, facts of life.

So I think this is where I end and/or begin.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out. -anton chekhov

but remember....

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
-friedrich nietzsche

AND

Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
-karen horney

oh yeah, and we got a goldfish... only 49 weeks to go.

too funny

I know there's much to write, but this is just too funny!

Yup, that's you.

I saw this on Amy's blog and she saw it on Christie's and I'm sure we all saw it somewhere, but we should see it AGAIN.



Just think about it.

the green book.

February is still putting January to shame!

Jon picked me up from the airport on the 12th and surprised me with a great Friday the 13th/Valentines' Day gift! (Does anyone else find that ironical? hehe)

KALAI tickets!

He is the all-time best guitarist that possibly ever was or could be!

Can you tell he's my favorite?

It was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful night at Garnder Hall downtown! Kalai is such a great performer and dang funny too! I first saw him 6 years ago at a friend's backyard shin-dig. Thanks again Beaver! That night changed me forever. Anytime anyone knows about an upcoming concert, please let me know. Although, you may not find one that I don't already know about :), it would mean the world to me!

Check out his website! http://www.kalai.cc/ and blog www.myspace.com/kalai


"Kalai is urban vintage. The Hawaiian Born, Alaska raised, 26 year-old, is an old school young buck with do anything, anytime, at any level, musical talent. Besides being a lyrical BIGfoot... His music ranges coast to coast with soft ballads, edgy blues, straight jazz, acid jazz, and yeah buddy, a little bit of his own thing. If Dave Mathews, Paul Simon, Ben Harper, James Taylor, John Mayer, Bill Murray (Yes, the comedian.) and Béla Fleck had a baby it would surely be this guy! One might say you have to hear him to believe it, but chances are, even once you do, you won’t. Just Listen. " (quoted from http://www.kalai.cc/)



If I could write I real good review about anything at all, it would be about this man. Here's some video clips, but I would recommend getting a CD, you'll never regret it!

Here are some delectables:









Enjoy!

Jan gets her butt kicked.

I must say these first few weeks of February have January running with tail between legs! Feb is kicking Jans butt! I got to start off the month by visiting family! It's been Kiki World Tour '09 for me with a visit first to VA with Mike and Amy and then to WI for the Gotbergs.

I love visiting family! It was one of the best vacations ever. I have adorable nieces and nephews. And I have to admit they really love me which makes me feel pretty cool. We had so much fun just doing everyday stuff. Amy asked me, "Is there anything here that you want to see that you can't do or see in Utah?" "YOU! silly" I replied. Just being apart of my sisters daily routine for a few days each was a wonderful blessing.

I must say I am feeling especially grateful to have a family member who works for Skywest. Without her, none of this would be possible. I'm a buddy!

For a complete play-by-play of my trips see LeShel's blog or if you can, login to Amy's and check it out!

What a bittersweet trip! I was fortunate enough to be able to hide my tears in airports with strangers. I am still feeling confused on what my true emotion is! Happy to be home or Sad to have left! I'm sure it will always be some sort of mixture. Better to have made more memories, than never to have visited at all, I say! Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and especially for families. I am glad I am part of an eternal family!

Love You All!

And... (edited for time and content)

And you all thought I was back blogging again. hehe...

I will say though that back in December I never thought anyone would really miss me. Thanks for all your teasing and loving concern.

However, I'm still not blogging (with this one exception) until later. It's not that my life is totally uneventful, just almost. I guess I need to clarify this: uneventful does not mean depressing.

Does anyone ever just feel like they don't have anything to say? Maybe I'm alone in this but I just don't feel like blogging up cyberspace with type pollution unless I have something that needs sharing.

Life is happy and I'm happy. I hope everyone out there is happy, too!

Hasta Luego!